England and the U.S have always had somewhat of a friendly rivalry.

They sit in what may be a pub or just a dimly lit, smoky bar.
England drinks a Newcastle while the U.S enjoys a frothy Bud Light.



England: Remember when you threw our tea into the water, old boy? Bloody good laughs, of course, it was quite uncalled for.

U.S: Yes, and remember when you tried to suppress our people and their right to freedom of religion and then tried to steal our land that we stole from the indians?

England: Ha! We've also stolen some of your most blonde of superstars! Guess they fancied something a bit more crack'n, old boy.

U.S: (lip quivering) Madonna and Gwyneth were ours first! Hope you're enjoying sloppy seconds, you limey bastards!

(dark glares are exchanged)

England: What are you on about, you pissed wanker?

U.S: I'm on about how I'm gonna open a can of American whoop ass on you!

England: Bollocks! I'll kick your bum!

U.S: Well, we've got your Nicole Kidman!

England: She's Australian, you twat!

U.S: Yeah? Well, George Michael called! He wants his gayness back. Because you stole it...because you're gay! And because you steal stuff!

England: (sighs) Like you stole our hearts with your rough American porn and night time dramas featuring unrealistically beautiful doctors?

U.S: Shucks. I guess we did rip off The Office. And we did steal your Posh and Becks.

England: Steal Ha! You can keep them!

They laugh and clink mugs.



BAFTA LA keeps up foreign relations* by inviting the public to their 3 day series of screenings including Little Brittan, The It Crowd and Simon Pegg's Run Fat Boy Run and Hot Fuzz.  The 3 day funny fest begins next Tuesday, April 29th.  Seating is on a first come, first serve basis.

*We've enjoyed a few of those. Oh yeah...giggity giggity!