Tetris Dreams DO Come True!
Remember coming home from school, flinging down your backpack and then sitting in front of the Nintendo for hours on end?
Your friends would come over and watch you play Tetris.
They were amazing by your speed and agility.
They didn't even mind that you wouldn't let them play Duck Hunt.
"Keep the Capri Suns coming, mom!" you'd yell from in front of the screen.
And she would.
She kept those Capri Suns coming all night long because she knew you had a talent.
She believed in you.
You started hanging out at the arcade sometimes.
You'd challenge kids from other schools to Tetris matches.
But your friends knew you were a hustler and they'd bet slap bracelet after slap bracelet on you and you'd win.
You were good.
Real good.
Some people even said you could go pro.
One day some middle aged bald guy approached you at the arcade.
He said he'd been watching you for a while.
This made you feel a little weird, but then he said you were the best Tetris player he'd seen in the tri-state area.
He said he could make you a star.
He started managing your training.
You got better and better.
Your dream of being the best Tetris player in the world seemed so close!
But those dreams were shattered right before the World Tetris Competition of 1994.
Some reporters wanted a photo opt so you stood in front of the stand up Tetris game at the arcade where you had been discovered and gave a "thumbs up".
You sprang your thumb and your dreams were dashed.
So you started smoking pot and watching Beavis and Butthead.
Now you work at Best Buy and can't even stand the sight of a brightly colored Tetris box.
Skip Coachella.
Go to the Party Scammers Tetris tournament this Friday.
It's happening in the upstairs of the Vine Bar.
Once you've regained glory and won your cash, head downstairs to the dance floor to gloat...and dance.
Your friends would come over and watch you play Tetris.
They were amazing by your speed and agility.
They didn't even mind that you wouldn't let them play Duck Hunt.
"Keep the Capri Suns coming, mom!" you'd yell from in front of the screen.
And she would.
She kept those Capri Suns coming all night long because she knew you had a talent.
She believed in you.
You started hanging out at the arcade sometimes.
You'd challenge kids from other schools to Tetris matches.
But your friends knew you were a hustler and they'd bet slap bracelet after slap bracelet on you and you'd win.
You were good.
Real good.
Some people even said you could go pro.
One day some middle aged bald guy approached you at the arcade.
He said he'd been watching you for a while.
This made you feel a little weird, but then he said you were the best Tetris player he'd seen in the tri-state area.
He said he could make you a star.
He started managing your training.
You got better and better.
Your dream of being the best Tetris player in the world seemed so close!
But those dreams were shattered right before the World Tetris Competition of 1994.
Some reporters wanted a photo opt so you stood in front of the stand up Tetris game at the arcade where you had been discovered and gave a "thumbs up".
You sprang your thumb and your dreams were dashed.
So you started smoking pot and watching Beavis and Butthead.
Now you work at Best Buy and can't even stand the sight of a brightly colored Tetris box.
Skip Coachella.
Go to the Party Scammers Tetris tournament this Friday.
It's happening in the upstairs of the Vine Bar.
Once you've regained glory and won your cash, head downstairs to the dance floor to gloat...and dance.
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